Bus Etiquette

I must shoot you into the present before I tell you tales of the past few days…

This is the quintessential tale of Bus Etiquette and I hope that it is as superb in the re-telling as it was when it happened. (Diana, this one is for you..)

Ok, so, off the train (don’t ask, that’s another part of the story) and queuing for a bus ticket at the Ploce (‘ch’) Autobusna Stanica.

In front of me is a woman who has spent more time than me grooming herself this morning (hair curled within an inch of its life, lashes extended etc etc). In front of us again are others buying tickets for the same bus, behind there are even more. It’s a numbers thing - there are about 20 of us waiting to get on the next bus coming through. A quick glance tells me that most are travelers – the one who has undergone the haircurlery is local.

The bus pulls in and clearly there are not enough seats for bodies and so some will need to stand. My bag doesn’t need to go in the baggage holds, so I quickly jump on ahead of the others and find a seat.

She with the lashes and the high shoes enters the bus and waves her ticket (she has the same ticket as mine, bought at the same time) and says in an authoritative voice pointing at the number above a seat -

“This is seat eight. I have a reserved ticket for ‘seat eight’”. Blank look from the poor tourist in seat eight.

“Does your ticket say ‘seat eight’? My ticket reserves that seat. I am going to Zagreb and do not want to change seats on the way. If your ticket does not say ‘seat eight’, please move.”
Only the sound of the bus radio could be heard through the silence.

Poor tourist. He clambered out of the seat with a red face. No-one said a thing, notabreath. I’m sure I heard tickets rustle, breath sucked in, silently checking for seat numbers.

Poor tourist. He stood from Ploce to Draznice along with the others who had no seats.

I had no seat allocation on my ticket, and neither did she. But an excellent performance, deserved an Oscar…..