Dont try this trick at the airport..

Brand new adventure of sorts yesterday – we will call it ‘oh my god, I forgot my passport’.

After humming and ha-ing, I decided to take a mid afternoon bus to Dubrovnik to meet up with a friend. Initially this was an attractive proposition, but the reality of over three hours in a bus in the heat suddenly dawned on me mid morning – I tried to cancel the trip, but my friend was persuasive.

Anyway, last minute decision to go, threw some things into a bag and raced for the bus station. Worst nightmare was immediately apparent – yes, 35 degrees today and the air-con on the bus was not working. Picture me melting onto the seat. I pulled the blinds down (yes, second mistake, miscalculated and sat on the sunny side of the bus) – too bad about the tourists who want to take photos – and did the ‘Croatian’ thing where you sit in the isle seat looking out the window and no-one dares to ask if they can sit in the empty seat next to you (thank you for that instruction Diana..)

The bus picked up more passengers from Podgora, Drasnice and Igrane – now the bus is so crowded that people are standing. (Ok, yes I moved over and let someone sit next to me).

So, just before Drvenik, I suddenly realized that I DID NOT HAVE MY PASSPORT WITH ME!

For those who haven’t travelled this coast, there is a, maybe 15 kilometre part of the coast which is Bosnian. When the borders were being re-drawn, it was agreed that Bosnia should retain this access route to the sea. What happens is that you have to stop at the border of Bosnia (border patrol comes on the bus and checks everyone’s passports) you carry on to the end of the Bosnian territory and the Croatian border patrol come on board the bus and check the passports again. This is generally carried out efficiently and not normally with a smile. And there is a gun in the holster (I just mention that for Kiwis because we are not used to seeing guns.)

I’m freaking out which brings me out into a hot sweat, and I know, I just know that I must take affirmative action. I hurtle myself down the bus and admit to the 2nd driver that I have forgotten my passport. (Cringe.)

He looks at me and says that I should get off at Drvenik. The bus duly stops, I disembark with as much ‘I hate being the centre of attention’ as I can muster – the driver gets off too and asks if I have any other personal papers. I show him my NZ Driver’s Licence – he tells me to get back on the bus, it’s worth giving it a go. I get back onto the bus with as much ‘I hate being the centre of attention’ as I can muster. (I wonder if the other travellers think that I am an idiot and have somehow mistaken Drvenik for Dubrovnik..).

Still sweating I call Branka to ask her to text me my Croatian Passport number as a back up, and sit there practicing my speech (‘I have a Croatian Passport, I have left it in my apartment because I am an idiot, but this is the serial number if you want it, please don’t hold the whole bus up because of me because I hate being the centre of attention..’).

The Bosnian border person is a woman – I show her my driver’s licence and she asks if I have a passport – I admit that I have (imam, ali on je u moju stanu, zao mi je, ja sam glupost) and she says ‘moze’ – it’s ok. The Croatian border guy doesn’t even ask the question – and I am through my nightmare and on my way to Dubrovnik.

Which place never fails to let me down in the evenings – beautiful piano being played in one corner bar, a jazz band playing in another – the lighting and the atmosphere is romantic and … well… oh, just go there yourselves and spend an evening wandering the paved streets and you will understand!)

I was on the 10 o’clock bus for the return trip – mild concern about the passport thing, but again, no-one really cared. Which begs the question I suppose. And so of course, me being me ,I asked the question. And the answer that I was given was that the border passport patrol will have more relevance when Croatia is in the EU because Bosnia will be a real EU border for those 15 or so kilometers. Which doesn’t pay heed to the current role of the crew of people standing at each post.

But I don’t really care now. Oh, and I will never forget my passport again (and you will remember this situation when you find yourself in a bus or a car heading up the Croatian Coast).